Naruto Talk
by Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR
Summary: In which the Naruto Cast get together and talk about all sorts of topics, insulting other each chance they get. Inspired by the story created by J-Wraith called, Sonic Talk.
1. Chapter 1

Naruto Talk

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary/Disclaimer: In which the Naruto cast meet and talk about many topics, degrating each other every chance they get. Inspired by J-Wraith's Sonic Talk. All credit goes to him. And I don't own Naruto.

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"Good Evening. Welcome to the first ever episode of Naruto Talk, inspired by the brilliant Sonic Talk. In this show, the characters of the Naruto franchise shall give their thoughts about many different topics, such as who's the best character, what the best arc is, and so on. I am your host, Shizune. And now, let's introduce the characters for the first topic. To start with, we have Uchiha Sasuke."

"Hn. It's a pleasure to be here," Sasuke said with the Uchiha smirk.

"Second, we have Uchiha Itachi, Sasuke's older brother."

"Hn," Itachi said simply, nodding.

"And finally, we have the Hyuuga prodigy, Hyuuga Neji."

"This should be interesting," Neji said, eyes closed with a smirk on his face.

"Now that that's done, let's begin with the first topic."

**Topic one: The most Emo character**

"This is easy. It's obviously me," Sasuke scoffed.

"Care to elaborate, Sasuke?" Shizune said.

"Of course," Sasuke began. "I had to watch my whole family become slaughtered by this guy over here," and he pointed to Itachi, "not to mention I had to watch it for 72 hours. TWICE. That instantly makes me the most emo."

"Oh, please. That doesn't make you emo in any sense of the word," Neji scoffed.

"Oh, and what would YOU know about being emo, blind-boy?" Sasuke retorted.

"Plently more than you, considering that I've dealt with sadness and hatred all my life," Neji replied. "I had a freakin seal put on my forehead that can turn my brain into mush at age THREE. Plus, my father was killed for a mistake that my UNCLE made. Ever since then, I've been cold and distant to just about everyone. If that's not being emo, than I don't know what is."

Itachi made a little cough that sounded vagely like "Bull!"

"Seems that you have something to say, Itachi," Shizune said.

"I do. Neji's claim about being cold and distant to everyone may have been true in the past. But now? Not so much," Itachi replied.

"Care to explain yourself?" Neji growled.

"Gladly," Itachi replied. "Ever since Uzumaki Naruto defeated you, you've been becoming less and less emo with each chapter and episode. And if you don't believe me, then do the words, 'I believe that you can save Sasuke from the darkness, because you saved me,' ring a bell?"

"What's your point?" Neji said.

"My point is that you don't even belong here. If you were your old self, THEN you could deserve to be here. But as you are now, you're about as emo as Rock Lee," Itachi said.

Sasuke had a good chuckle at that.

"Is that right? Then tell me, what makes YOU think that YOU belong here?" Neji snarled.

"Simple. I killed my entire family. I killed my best friend. And I forced my little brother to watch it all. TWICE. You aren't truly emo unless you bring other people down with you like I did," Itachi replied with a smug smile.

"I wouldn't be talking, Tragic Hero. The latest Manga chapter bascially KILLED any chance of you being the most emo," Sasuke scoffed. "If anything, it just made you become a walking cliche. Honestly, how many stories have the same old, 'evil villian isn't as evil as he seems' plot?"

"Sasuke comes back with a good point," Shizune agreed.

"Look who's talking, Mr. Avenger," Itachi retorted. "'Look at me, I'm Sasuke! I hate my brother so much, that I'm gonna push away everyone that he could kill until I kill him. Even if I have to act like a complete Asshole to do it!' VERY creative."

"And Itachi responds in kind," Shizune said.

"And that's the problem. You two are nothing but mere cliches, running gags in anime, if you will. At least MY emoness is unique!" Neji snickered.

"Oh please, it's about as unique as most of the Naruto & Hinata fics these days," Sasuke replied.

"I believe you've just gotten burned," Itachi said in monotone.

"What a surprise. The two walking cliche plots team up," Neji grumbled.

"Okay, we have run out of time. We'll just leave it to the fans to say who's the most emo," Shizune said. She turned to the readers. "You can also ask for topics that you would like to be seen talked about. I don't expect this to be as popular as Sonic Talk, but it'll be fun for us. Until next time, good bye."

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Like Shizune said, you can choose who you think is the most emo, and we'll reveal the winner next chapter, as well as the next topic. Hope you liked this, and if you did, then go and check out Sonic Talk by J-Wraith, which is MUCH better than this. Catch you next continue!


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto Talk

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: In which the Naruto Cast get together and talk about all sorts of things, insulting each other every chance they get. Inspired by J-Wraith's Sonic Talk.

* * *

"Hello, again, and welcome to the next instalment of Naruto Talk, the show in which the Naruto cast voice their thoughts on many different subjects. And maybe get in a few jabs once in a while. I'm your host, Shizune. And this time, we'll have six people on the panel instead of three. Which means that I'll have a Co-Host to be helping me this time. Everyone, please welcome my friend and mentor, Tsunade-sama."

"Thank you, Shizune," Tsunade replied, standing alongside her. "Now then, let's introduce the new members of the panel for this episode. First off, we have the main character of the series himself, Uzumaki Naruto."

"This'll be fun!" Naruto cheered.

"Next, joining us is Taijutsu specialist, Rock Lee."

"I am ready for a most youthful debate!" Lee said.

"And finally, we have Tobi of the Akatsuki."

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi grinned behind his mask.

"Of course, Sasuke, Neji and Itachi are still here from the last episode, each ready to support their teammate."

The three geniuses waved their arms in boredom in response.

"Okay, now that everyone has been introduced, let's get to the next topic.

**Topic Two: The most Hyperactive Character**

"Okay, Tsunade-sama shall begin this debate. Tsunade-sama?" Shizune said.

"Very well. I'll start off with Naruto. Do you believe that you are the most Hyperactive Character in the seires?"

"Of course I do! It's an important part of my character, espically at the start. It's what fulled my pranking tendacies, and it defines me. After all, who's the one who got the title, 'The Number One HYPERACTIVE Knucklehead Ninja?' This title should rightfully belong to me!"

"Interesting. Do you have a response to that, Rock Lee?"

"I believe I do. With all due respect to Naruto-kun, his so called, 'Hyperactive' behavoir, is more in the idiotic catagory. And there is a difference between Hyperactiveness and Idiocy."

"Very strong words, Lee. Naruto, ressponse?"

"Bushy-Brows should be the last one to talk. After all, he's done some pretty dumb things in his life as well. I mean, who in their right mind would think that Moe Howard haircut is cool in ANY sense of the word?"

"Fine words coming from someone in a Tacky Orange Jumpsuit, Naruto-kun."

"At least I CHANGED my look around Shippuuden, Mr. fashion-challenged."

"You haven't said anything as of yet, Tobi. What do you say?"

"Tobi says that these two bickering proves just how UN-Hyperactive they are. If they were really hyperactive, they would throw PIES at each other instead! Like this!" Tobi threw a pie across the room, which hit Itachi square in the face. Itachi's eye twiched madly as Sasuke and Neji roared with laughter. "This PROVES that I am the most Hyperactive. Because I'm just so random!"

"Yeah, right! There's no way an emo like you is the most hyperactive! Sure, you can be random half the time, but the rest of the time, you act like this evil mastermind that's pulling the strings from behind the scenes, ESPICALLY in the latest manga chapters. As far as I'm concerned, you don't even belong here!" Naruto protested.

"I must agree with Naruto-kun. One cannot act like a dark mastermind half of the time and still claim that he is the most Hyperactive of all time. That is like saying that Naruto Harem stories would do good without any lemons!" Lee said.

"And trust me, I would know!" Naruto said, nodding his head.

Tobi instantly went into his 'Madara-Mode'. "I wouldn't be making those claims if I were you two. For example, you, Naruto, have had more than your fair share of 'Emoness' within the manga and ESPICALLY the anime. What with the, 'Sasuke, I WILL get you back,' and the 'Sakura, I failed you...' those would hardly count as Hyperactive moments."

"Hey, anybody would have had the same reaction as me, had they been in my shoes!"

"True, but I hardly think you can be consider the MOST hyperactive character with scenes like that. And as for you, Rock Lee, you were really a let down after you got injured during your fight with Gaara. Faced with the chance of never being a ninja again, you were in a state of drepression for quite some time."

"I knew someone would bring that up. Let me remind you that I didn't just sit back and let drepression take me over. I still trained myself to the point of death, and when I got better, I was even more charged and Hyperactive than ever before! I even managed to wear down Gai-Sensei, for kami's sake!"

"All of you have made some very good points thus far. But we still have yet to hear from your teammates," Shizune said, turning to Sasuke, Neji and Itachi. "Your thoughts on the matter, gentlemen?"

"This is a waste of time. Everyone knows that Naruto is the most Hyperactive one of the three. If Naruto didn't act hyper at least once every day, then he just wouldn't be NARUTO. Everyone knows that," Sasuke scoffed.

"But can Naruto do 500 laps around Konoha? On his HANDS?" Neji asked.

"No."

"Can he do 800 Jumping Jacks? On ONE leg?"

"...No."

"Can HE magically summon a giant sunset on command while shedding manly tears in abundance?"

"No..."

"Then he is not as hyperactive as Lee. End. Of. STORY." Neji smirked.

"But does Lee constantly annoy his collegaes?" Itachi asked.

"...Yes, actually," Neji replied.

"To the point of wanting to KILL yourself just to get away from him?"

"...No."

"Then Tobi is the winner. In your words, 'End. Of. Story.'" Itachi said with the Uchiha smirk.

But Sasuke had a smirk of his own. "I had hoped it wouldn't have to come to this, but you guys leave me no choice."

He then got out of his seat, and placed a video into the VCR that was hooked up to a large T.V in the room.

"What do you have up your sleve, Uchiha?" Neji said with a skeptical glare.

"Just a video of the Naruto anime."

"And that helps you how?"

"Because it's the U.S.A version!" Sasuke cackled, much to the wide-eyed looks of the cast.

"You wouldn't dare..." They all said.

"WATCH ME." Sasuke grinned, and pushed play.

**"I'm gonna be Hokage, Believe it!"**

**"You can't beat me, Believe it!**

**"You're going down, Believe it!**

**"Believe it!"**

**"Believe it!"**

**"BELIEVE IT!"**

**30 Minutes later...**

"Oh my sweet kami, MAKE IT STOP!" Tobi shouted, covering his ears.

"I give! I give! Naruto is the most hyperactive of us all!" Lee shouted, tears running down his eyes.

"Damn straight!" Naruto cheered as Sasuke turned off the video. Neji and Itachi were knocked out by the sounds long ago.

"...Well, that was...interesting," Tsunade blinked. Shizune had been knocked out as well. "...Anyway, it seems that Naruto is the winner. And as for the voting last chapter, it seems that Sasuke won the title of most Emo. Well done, Sasuke."

"Hn. As if anyone else would get it. Though Itachi had a good chance as well. If Purple Nailpolish doesn't scream out EMO, then I don't know what does."

"Okay, that's all for now, folks. Join us next time for the next instalment of 'Naruto Talk.' Good Bye!"

* * *

I'm glad I got reviews for the last chapter. I hope you found this one good as well. Until next time, catch you next continue!


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto Talk!

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: In which the Naruto Cast get together and talk about all sorts of topics, insulting other each chance they get. Inspired by the story created by J-Wraith called, Sonic Talk.

* * *

"Hello again, everybody! And welcome to another Special Instalment of Naruto Talk! I'm your host, Shizune, and today we have a very special guest. This guest has turned 20 just today, and is the author of this fic. Please welcome, Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR!"

"Hello, Shizune! I'm so happy! I just got a PS3, as well as The Eye of Judgement for said system! Anyway, this is today's topic!

**The Best Fight Involving Naruto!**

"And here are our guests at this time. Once again, Uchiha Sasuke!"

"Can't have a Naruto fic without me being involved in some way," Sasuke said with a smirk.

"And two new guests! Please welcome the Kazekage, Gaara!"

"..."

"And finally, the most important side-character in Naruto, Haku!"

"Thank you for having me here," Haku said in a gentle tone.

"Now then, I'll let Shizune take it from here."

"Thank you, birthday boy! Okay, let's start with Haku. Do you think that you had the best fight with Naruto so far?"

"Well, I don't mean to brag...but it was in MY fight that Naruto first awoke the Kyuubi within him. And as you see later on, the Kyuubi plays a big role in many of Naruto's future fights, which means that it was because of MY fight that Naruto is what he is today."

"You mean a weakling dobe who couldn't beat me, even WITH Kyuubi's power? If that's so, then I must thank you, Haku."

"Don't act so high and mighty, Uchiha. Everyone knows damn well that Naruto held back against you, especially on the last exchange of Chdori vs Rasanegan. Naruto could have easily blown your head off, if he wanted to."

"And that's the thing right there. Naruto needed BOTH the Kyuubi's power, AND the Rasanegan to stand a chance against me. Whereas with you, Gaara, he just needed the Kyuubi's power. And to make matters worse for you, he kicked your ass when you were in full Shukaku form. If that's not ownage, I don't know what is."

"In case it slipped your ego-inflated head, Uchiha, I should remind you that he also had to use Gamabunta against me, in addition to the Kyuubi's power. And last I checked, Gamabunta outranks Rasanegan."

"You're joking, right? Gamabunta shouldn't even be considered a Ninja Attack! What kind of Ninja, who is supposed to be **stealthy**, mind you, travels around on a huge-as-a-building frog?"

"Oh, like you can talk, Haku, what with your 'Fun House of Mirrors' attack. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were a narcissist."

"First of all, it's called 'Crystal Ice Mirrors', and you know it. Second, what I do with my mirrors outside of battle is none of your business."

"I don't even understand why you chose to show-up, girly-boy. After all, even if you were the one to make Naruto unleash the Kyuubi for the first time, that doesn't change the fact that you got your ass kicked in just one episode afterwards. That hardly counts for best fight status."

"Yeah. I may dispise the Uchiha with every fiber of my being, but this is something we both agree on. You shouldn't even be here, Haku."

"I can understand you saying that, Gaara. But Sasuke has no room to speak. After all, just before I made Naruto use Kyuubi's power, I recall that you were laying on the ground, with several senbon sticking out of your neck. And I recall that it was **I** who did that."

Sasuke's eyes flashed with the Sharingan. "That was then, this is now. You wouldn't stand a chance against me at my current level."

Haku fished out a couple of senbon. "Care to put that to the test, spoiled one?"

"Calm down, laides," I said, making them all glare at me. "Shizune, what do you think?"

"Well...we should probably look at the bigger picture of things. Such as how much of an impact said fights had on the manga and anime. First off, after the Haku fight, Naruto began following his own way of the Ninja, his own 'Nindo' if you will."

"True, but after the Gaara fight, Naruto learned what it really meant to have friends that you'd be willing to die for."

"And finally, after the Sasuke fight, Naruto showed just how much of a true friend he really was...even if certian people didn't deserve it," I said, glaring at Sasuke. "I may like you, but even I can admit that you can REALLY be an ass sometimes."

"Hn." Sasuke replied.

"But don't forget...right after the fight between Sasuke, the anime sprialed into what is known as Filler Nightmare. And many of them involved Naruto ranting about looking for Sasuke. So, in a way, you were part of the reason those god-awful, doesn't-exist-for-anything-other-than-fanfiction-fodder episodes were aired. And I think that's enough reason to kick you out of the running."

"...Damn," Sasuke sighed.

"So that means that Gaara is the winner!" I said, raising the victor's hand.

"Hey! What about me?"

"You got your ass kicked in one episode. You didn't have a chance." Gaaar sneered.

"...Go to hell."

"Anyway, that's all for now. It's shorter than the last one, but hopefully funnier. Anyway, here's to King's birthday! And finally..."

Catch you next continue!

"Oh, and thanks to J-Wraith for advertising my story in his!"


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